Eyes Wide Shut
by Scarabbug
Summary: It’s those damned eyes of his which Shadow has the problem with... One shot. Set during end of season two. Spoilers.


**I wanted to do some Shadow POV and since I've never really touched on his character before I was slightly uncertain how to do it. Still, this turned out after watching Episode Thirty Eight. Contains **_**Spoilers**_** for that episode. Standard disclaimers apply. Reviews and concrit are appreciated.

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_"I shut my eyes in order to see."_ - Paul Gauguin

_"The only problem with **seeing** too much is that it makes you insane."_ - Phaedrus, Roman fabulist, 15-50 B.C.

Eyes Wide Shut.

It's those damned eyes of his.

Blue. They're a very distinctive shade of blue. And always looking out at the stars, like he's going to find some answers there. It's insane. Shadow never found anything out there himself, except for the blackness, but he didn't mind watching it, back in the old days.

Maria.

Maria _isn't_ with him now. He owes her for that. He owes _humans_. And then that boy shows up, with those eyes and that ridiculous –human– way of talking, believing in those traitorous creatures that he calls his friends, and Shadow doesn't know what to do about it.

He knows what Maria had to go through. And he knows whose fault it is that she did. Maria died at the hands of her own people: a true, good, gentle human, ripped apart by those who wanted her. And Shadow has spent far too long standing around, watching the boy staring into the glass window of the observatory and trying to decide how much he dislikes the human, to not see the similarity there.

It's actually uncanny, but it's still all in the eyes. Shadow would be alright if the kid would just keep them _shut_ or something. But he doesn't. He never shuts his eyes. Never averts his gaze from anyone, not even when he must be terrified.

And he _is_ terrified. Shadow knows fear when he sees it no matter how well it's been covered up, and that human is half scared to death. He's just a kid, and it's not a good thing that he's out here. Shadow supposes it's not his fault that he was born human, or born with eyes like Maria's were, but he's still the enemy. Shadow knows what that means. He knows it means that Chris Thorndyke will get in the way of him at some point, and he'll probably bring Sonic with him.

Alright, fine. Then he can die first, for everything his species does to its own kind. And Sonic will come soon after him.

Believing this somehow never made Shadow feel any better.

Not right up until the last minute anyway. Not until he made up his mind to destroy Sonic completely, and that damn boy started trying to _talk_ to him. To tell him it wasn't worth it. To stop Shadow from doing what he knew he had to do, practically pleading with the look in his eyes.

Bad mistake.

'_Getting revenge won't bring Maria back_,' he had said. But he had said it with those _eyes_ as well as with his mouth, and Shadow isn't sure whether that hurts, or just infuriates him. Well. So what? It'll help. It'll make sure no other humans can go around killing and hurting each other for no reason.

'Please, listen to me.'

The boy's hand touches Shadow's shoulder. Another bad mistake.

He doesn't know how the kid has the gall to even _look_ at him with eyes like that. Touching him, however, is something else entirely. That's going too far and saying too much. Shadow won't allow it.

'Get your hands off me!'

The body crumples inwards when Shadow hits it, like a branch breaking, only softer. He's never hit a person quite like that before, and he hadn't... expected the aftershock. He hadn't expected the sound of air being forced out of someone's lungs too quickly. He hadn't expected the start and the shudder or for the boy to fly backwards quite as far as he does. Most of all, he hadn't expected the kid to stand up and come in again for a second round.

Well, it's his funeral. If he _wants_ to get slammed into the wall, then Shadow is happy to oblige. It makes the kid wince and shut his eyes for a few seconds anyway, and anything that keeps those eyes from _looking_ at him again, Shadow will do.

He can see the other human flinching, forcing himself not to move, that darned pink one yelping and yelling out in anger and fear. Not that Shadow cares.

They aren't Maria's eyes. They _aren't_. It doesn't matter that they look like hers. It doesn't matter who this kid is, or thinks he is. All that matters is that he is standing in Shadow's way.

That's always a dangerous place to be, even when you're not doing a worryingly good job of looking like someone Shadow used to know and love.

'Shadow, _please_. I know some people are bad, but most of them are good.'

Not from what Shadow has seen. And what does he care what one naive little boy things anyway? The kid's obviously dense enough to keep running onto Shadow's fists for one thing...

Shadow hits harder the next time the boy makes contact with him. Much harder. Hard enough to break a bone were he hitting anywhere that bones actually existed. There's smashing muscle and crushing lungs. The crack of a hard object, caving in what sounds not quite like clay. The reaction makes Shadow flinch and push the body away faster than he had before. He watches the boy fall.

...Why is he getting _up_ again? What the hell does this kid _want_ from him? What is he trying to accomplish, if not his own destruction?

Shadow clenches both fists and doesn't move. It doesn't look as if the kid is going to _get_ to him anyway. And...

And Shadow doesn't _want_ to hit him another time. Not again. Not as hard as he just did. It didn't feel _right_.

Those eyes...

There's _belief_ in there. Belief in something Shadow can't understand and he's pretty sure it has absolutely nothing to do with Sonic. Just like there had been belief in Maria. _Still_ coming towards him. Still reaching out a hand as if someone might take it. Kid just doesn't know when to quit, does he? Doesn't know when to just shut his eyes...

Shadow could punch a final time and close them. He could silence the kid's words, and silence Sonic too, when he arrived. Put an end to all of them, and leave the space shut to do the rest of the job and finish off a species that didn't deserve life, because they had taken Maria away.

Except...

'...Shadow?'

Except that he doesn't _want _to, andit takes Shadow another moment to realise why.

Because the punch felt –he imagines– just like hitting Maria might feel.

_'__Promise me..__that you'll help people. Promise me.' _

So much for that.

Shadow isn't sure what he's doing right now. But he knows he isn't _helping_.

And he knows that Chris is still looking at him, eyes a mixture of pain and desperation and hope. The eyes show Shadow all of this. They show him why he's so damn angry, and why he hates seeing anything of his old friend within them. They show him why he hates humans, and why he hates Sonic so badly too, for helping so many humans when they couldn't help themselves.

Hurting people. For no other reason than the fact that they look like someone he loved. Nothing to do with how much he hates Sonic.

Shadow catches Chris's body before it hits the ground.

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End file.
